MARY JANE

MOVED

2009-09-10T03:58:00.001+08:00

buy me diamonds

when everyone turns into a nerd.

2009-08-24T02:51:00.001+08:00

the exams are nearing.

i locked myself up at home to study and prepare.

how i wish this period ends quickly.

but well, studying is actually quite enjoyable.

it's just difficult to get started,

but once i'm in it, it's not that bad.

okay paper's tmr, gotta go muggggggggggggg.

byeeeeeeeeee!

excellent

2009-08-16T22:12:00.003+08:00

this is so fucking amazing,
seriously, what the hell man.
its really not hard to believe who are you.
get over it dude, forgive and forget okayyyyyyyyy.
you, are driving me nuts.

eh, hello, all along, it was the same guy okah.
only recently i moved on.

i seriously feel v (-.-")

turn the record on and wonder what went wrong, it's just a stupid song about you and how i lost you.

2009-08-15T14:57:00.004+08:00

one of the worst day of my life, i was really sad and disappointed.
but because the situation was so bad, i managed to put what was learnt over the years to work.
the day was really still bearable.

you don't know me, you must be thinking how did you get to know sucha, uncool bitch.
when disappointment strikes, it brings along more than just that.

i really like you but,
i did my calculations.
you're too different from me, i can't carry on any longer.
i'm not a bitch inside.
so maybe i'll get over you, yeah, that the best, cause you, hurt my pride by judging me as someone i am not, and you don't even know who i am.
turn the record on.
you can save it for her.
i am me, and i can't afford to lose myself again.

If only you knew
What my heart must do for you
I’m tryna break through
Don’t you think it’s worth the chance?
Let’s leave the past
Is that too much to ask?
And where do we stand?
Can we pull through this avalanche?

why am i pushing myself so hard?

2009-08-11T09:46:00.002+08:00

i had a wonderful weekend, didn't have so much fun in along while.

but back to reality, and i'm stuck with piles of work undone.

my head hurts like mad and i really don't feel like going to school.

i'm skipping my tutorials today and going to school at 1.

there are much more photos than these i swear, alot more.

with failing faith, i'm holding on,

only in hopes that you'll find me someday.

F.U.C.K

2009-08-06T01:04:00.003+08:00

i don't care already.
whtaever it is,
now i wanna scream.

see you really change my mood.
since i'll never understand anyway.
this is the second time you really pissed me off.
__ why must dumb shit like this always happen.

lost courage and faith, i can't take no more.

2009-08-05T21:47:00.001+08:00

i'm sorry i give up easily.
i'm sorry i lost my faith and believe.
i'm sorry i don't have enough courage.
i'm sorry for not living up to expectations.

why is it i feel alone even when there're lots of frieds around me.
it's not like they don't know me and they don't love and care for me.
but why do i feel so cut off.

i feel like breaking down and cry my heart out tonight.
but why does it seem ike the tears aren't falling not matter how hard i'm trying?
i wish i felt better, i wish i could let everything out.
but why can't i?

this feeling is terrible.
it's like you feel like puking but you can't.
i wish i could cut myself up cause it seems like too much responsibility to hold everything together.
so bottled up inside.

you don't know how much impact you have on me.
one lil' thing you do can change my whole day.
i've got so much to say, but it feels like its too much to convey,
and i seem to be unable to put them into words.
and this makes me speechless.
sometimes you get too tired of this world.

tears like diamonds on the floor.

before i fall deeper,

2009-08-05T00:41:00.002+08:00

i feel like...
you seem to make everything right,
but i know it might not mean a thing to you.

yes, you smart ass, you know everything.
but me, i don't know a thing about whats on your mind.
you anticipate me,
but i can only guess.

and i don't wanna make the same mistakes again.
maybe i'm too paranoid to give myself any hope.

fire in your eyes.

2009-08-04T18:05:00.003+08:00

why is it that when i finally looked into your eyes,

i saw anger.

i had a bad day.

and i'm sorry for not sparing a thought.

i can't even tell what was it excatly,
totally screwed up today.
i fail in everything.

when the night

2009-08-04T00:34:00.003+08:00

the reasons always seem to be not strong enough to hold me together at night.

and it's the most difficult point of a day.

i'm only human, and i get tired of waiting.

i get tired of going on and on.

i need a shoulder to lean on.

saw you when i was in the crowd.

2009-08-03T21:21:00.000+08:00

i wish i knew what's going on in your head.

Don't shut the door, don't shut me out
Don't make this be the last time that I see your hands
Cause I want them to hold me
is it time you let me in?

your company and goodnights are gems.
i don't want you to think of me as a bitch, but know who i really am skin deep.

Maybe i should,Keep this to myself
Waiting 'til i,Know you better

I am trying,Not to tell you
But i want to
I'm scared of what you'll say
So i'm hiding what i'm feeling
But i'm tired of
Holding this inside my head

I've been spending all my time
Just thinking about ya
I don't know where to
I think i'm fallin' for you
I've been waiting all my life
And now i found ya
I don't know where to
I think i'm fallin' for you
I'm fallin' for you

i wonder whats going on when you listen to this song over and over again.
for i know for me.

don't waste your whole life trying, to get back what was taken away.

2009-08-02T02:12:00.004+08:00

this song is my comfort.
and this is how i feel everyday after i listen to it.

keep that smile, when everything's wrong.

don't let it fade.

i'm just sharing this, cause i hope others find motivation in this song.

sometimes when we touch, the honesty's too much.

2009-08-02T01:07:00.003+08:00

i changed too much since the day you left.

there's two types of sadness.

one is extreme emotion which comes and go fast.

another floats like a feather, its light and lingers for a long time.

i'm battling my pride.

living with this feather you left me, my last memory of you.

i let you go the last time i saw you,

i could never forget the look in your eyes that night.

it's like a picture of you i took and i kept it at the back of my mind.

i take it out everynight, so that i won't forget the way you look.

there was something about the look in your eyes that night.

gentle, but you know that i know what you're trying to tell me.

you're finally letting me go gently after our long struggle for nights.

that night you chose her, and left me a feather.

and like a feather, you feel so far from reach now.

cause you threw it from the night skies where the stars are

how long is it going to take till it reaches the ground?

i'm not going to wait, but boy, you don't know how much i have to say to you.

i wanna hold you till i die, till we both break down and cry.

i'm sick of this town,
i'm a creep,
i wished i was special, so fucking special.
just so you would take another look at me.

i know i'm a drifter, still searching, with failing determination.
everyone moved on, i'm moving along, just to make it through.

it's fucked up. i'm feaking fucked-up.

cause i can't hold you till we both break down and cry.

so,i have to close my eyes and hide.

"oversmoked" you used to say, now i'm drowning in my cigarettes.

you don't know me, you don't wear my chains.

2009-07-30T11:59:00.000+08:00

feeling much better today.
loves.

class is never boring when you have retarded classmates

2009-07-30T10:55:00.006+08:00

sara, yan yan, me and deb deb.

when lessons get boring.
this is my retarded friend, who drags me to run to class with her all the time.

we love potato wedges for snacks

and chin chow for drinks.

i found these in my laptop after i came up from the canteen.

why my laptop? ):

when i saw them walking outta the lift, marvin said they had a present for me in class.

i don't even know what's this.

so i realised that the present was THIS.

so now you can see, these are my classmates.

so they very kewl.

like real kewl right?

like why all the photos almost all same pose?

cannot show too much.

???

lovely, she reminds me to an orange calm.

cause debbie think she kewl.

she think she's puss in boots from shrek th movie.

i call the blue clip "salon chip"

i like i like.

ran out of ideas for captions.

webcam very fun.

weirdo.

kisses for you?

bye bye.

look for the girl with a broken smile, ask her if she wants to stay around

2009-07-27T23:24:00.002+08:00

know where i hide, and the things that makes me who i am.
catch me everytime i fall.

i really need a reason, how much longer?
who's gonna keep me from falling apart.
there's so many more things i want for myself.

i never fail to lose my train of thoughts and not blog about everything i want to.

i was forgotten, i won't be forgotten ever again.

2009-07-27T22:33:00.004+08:00

i dont know why i cant upload photos through blogger, like fucking sucks.
well, i really need to express myself on my blog,
i'm like so sucidal when i don't blog.

okay, so like school's really stressing me out.
it's like i'm spreading myself too thin,
in the end, nothing gets done the way i want it to.

now i understand why mandy wants me to learn to observe people first.
i trust people too easily, and i learn only when they stab me in the bad.
i seriously fucking hate the way things are now.

well, truthfully, recently, imma emo.
it's not that i want to be like that but i'm feeling really paranoid.
i feel like going back to churh, but somehow, i think i'll just lose my mind when i walk in.
thins are a lil' messed up and confusing for me.
i don't know how i let each day pass.

why is it never my turn, i'm so envious.

i really need a someone, and i really want one.
it's getting a lil' too hard for me to hang on.

i dread these days when i miss all those extreme emotions i use to feel.

baby there's no other superstar.

2009-07-24T03:23:00.003+08:00

you make me want you so bad it hurts.
only recently did i realise that i made mistakes first.
but i tried so hard to make it up.
compared to all the bullshit you put me through.

roller-coaster ride around the world, stuck in black and white.

what am i suppose to say when i'm all choked up and you're okay?

i love you forever, forever is over.
all my memories about me, about you, about us, didn't mean a thing to you.

i'll keep kiddo, star star and w somewhere deep inside where no one will ever touch.

the day we met was like a hit and run, and i still taste it on my tongue.

cause it's time to get outta black and white.

better than love

2009-07-21T20:41:00.003+08:00

meet the one i call darling.

currently at mac, listening to you found me, by the fray.

thinking about why thw world is so fucked up with retards with people around us.

she's the one who never fails to make me scream at her,

but also the one who never fails to be there when i need her.

the best things in life, is not what i expected,

and not found the way i thought it would be.

and just like this song,

you found me, and maybe just a lil' late, but you found me.

when you're lost and insecure, you found me.

when you're lying on the floor, i'm here i'm here.

you found me, my best friend.

why not everyday?

2009-07-21T09:09:00.003+08:00

'cause i met the right person at the wrong time.

to close for comfort

anyway, at home now, not going to econs tutorial, cause i havent done my work.

i think i'm experiencing mood swings, 'cause of my period.

damn. i'm not a deserving person, i suck.

your gucci w.

2009-07-20T00:24:00.003+08:00

this is how i hope you remember me as.
continue reading sugar, even though it feels unreal.
but maybe it's the best, cause i'll have a lil' space to imagine.
'cause giving scares me too much now.
just continue reading, and looking out for me.
i like your comany, even though it's always 7metres away from me.

maybe you know, maybe you don't
i'll never miss lecture days.

saw you from a distance, something about your beautiful face.
reach out for you, i am trying.
stay up with me, all night.

at times, it scares me cause you're just like him.

Gucci for you

2009-07-19T23:07:00.004+08:00

thursday night, mosses kenrick and mandy came over to my place since i was sick.

some nice company a patient gets, hahahah.

then friday was a mess, busy doing nothing the whole day.

from home to holland to school to holland to home to town.

met sammy and cynthia at ps thn headed down to cine to neet chubbby.

thought i would be able to get a glimpse of him but didn't.

well, it's almost a year now. i should move on

watched harry potter, pretty nice i guess, HAHAHAH.

i was laughing throughout.

i wanna watch it again with hans and joey.

after the movie, was sheesha with mandy and co.

back home in the morning.

saturdays and sunday, i was simply too lazy to get outta bed.

well. so much for my wonderful weekend.

i need to shop shop shop.

AHHHHHHHHHH!

& there's school tmr, i dread schol on mondays.

but one thing to look forward to,

i know where he is at 3pm on mondays (;

P.S i took out my monroe, wonders if i did the correct thing

better than this

2009-07-19T04:11:00.003+08:00

bye bye memories,
i'm gonna start writing all over again.

round in circles, here we go.
they never end, do they?